I've spent my fair share of time online posting on various message boards and forums on many subjects ranging from programming to comedy to gaming. Over time, I've noticed different classifications of posters and behavior associated with each type. I've compiled a list and description to help anyone new to the etiquette of the Internet. It's a big Internet out there - play nice!

Please note that no one person was intended to represent any of the classifications - they are all a compilation from many observations of many posters from many forums.

Blatant Troll
If you’ve spent more than an hour interacting with others on the super highway, you’ve no doubt come across a troll. A troll is someone who posts inflammatory remarks in hopes of inciting anger or just any reaction from anyone. Comments like: "girlz are no  good at sports, Mia Hamm wouldnt' last 1 quarter in a boyz high school game!!!!!!!!! she is stooopid!!!" on a women’s rights site is troll gold. The Blatant Troll knows exactly what he is doing and usually posts anonymously as revealing his identity could put his safety in jeopardy. Poor spelling, bad grammar, and random punctuation are hallmarks of the Blatant Troll.

Latent Troll
The Latent Troll is similar to the Blatant Troll except he doesn’t know he’s being a troll. His inflammatory remarks are posted with a higher cause in mind. He sees himself as a crusader and his ranting is the means to justify the end. Those who feel his wrath are just pawns in a bigger game. Maybe he's adamant that the moon landing didn't really happen or perhaps he insists that the music of Wilson Phillips was original and cutting edge and "we just don't get it". Unfortunately, no one ever stands by the latent troll or his doctrine. He figures that we're either out to get him, but more than likely, we're just not ready for his genius.

Latent Troll Feeder
Trolls only exist because we interact with them and unfortunately the Latent Troll Feeder isn’t hip to this concept. Not too long after the troll spits out his venom, a Latent Troll Feeder is armed and ready with logic and reasoning to help the troll see the error of his ways. The Latent Troll Feeder knows he can change the troll similar to how young girls know they can tame the proverbial "bad boy". Sadly, rather than rehabilitating the troll, the troll only gets stronger as does his resolve. The Latent Troll Feeder may change his approach and assault the Troll with verbal jabs and witty uppercuts, but to the troll, it's like water on a grease fire.

Blatant Troll Feeder
The Blatant Troll Feeder isn’t bothered by the troll and enjoys the emotionally charged pursuant discussion that is sure to unfold. To keep the action lively, the blatant troll feeder might post something agreeing with the troll, disagreeing with the latent troll feeder, or anything to keep the thread count growing. Maybe a few days pass and no one posts - don't worry, the Blatant Troll Feeder is sure to bump that post up to the top.

Recovering Latent Troll Feeder
A Recovering Latent Troll Feeder has made the first big step to recovery – admitting he has a problem. His admittance usually comes in the form of "I’m done with this thread", but sadly, he will likely relapse with posts such as "I can’t let that go - I have to defend myself" as the troll knows just the right buttons to press. It's a difficult plight for the Recovering Latent Troll Feeder - deep down inside, he knows that arguing with the troll is futile and stupid, but he just can't resist. The keyboard calls to him more soothingly than the Siren's song - he must get the best of this troll and he has to get in the last word. Fight the good fight, Recovering Latent Troll Feeder ... fight the good fight.

Smurf
A pack of Latent Troll Feeders are doing battle with a Latent Troll and then suddenly something unexplainable happens. A "new" member has joined the forum and has opted to make all of his posts in defense of the troll. He explains he's been watching silently from the cheap seats for a long time and just can't idly sit by anymore. Oddly, he became a member on the same day this heated discussion took off and the board administrator notices his ip address coincidentally matches the troll's ip address. More vexing is the Smurf uses similar bad grammar, spelling, and punctuation as that of the troll. What is going on?! Allow me to expose the secret to this magic trick - the Smurf and the Latent Troll are actually ... wait for it ... the same person! That's right, wipe that surprised look off your face. You'd better start thinking outside the box if you're going to survive in the fast paced world of cyberspace. As foolproof as his plan seemed at the time, we've blown the cover to this clever charade. But, don't expect the Smurf to concede anytime soon - even with video tape evidence of him posting under both usernames, he's taking it to the grave that they're different people. You have to admire that commitment and conviction in the face of common sense.

Wise and Powerful Oz
Do you have a technical question? Be careful not to piss off the Wise and Powerful Oz. No matter what you ask, he will remind you that you’re posting the question in the wrong forum, or the question has already been answered in the FAQ and "that’s what it’s there for", or RTFM!?!? Ironically, he spends more time pointing out your stupidity than it would have taken to just answer your question. But, let’s face it, you need to learn your lesson, and he’s more than happy to kick virtual sand in your face as you gaze in awe of his technical physique. He's obviously brilliant and doesn't have time for your shenanigans, yet he spends surprisingly lots of time ridiculing everyone.

Nerd
The Nerd is easy to spot because his posts are usually glittered with every feature the board has to offer such as, but certainly not limited to, bold text, fancy formatting, linkage, or maybe an avatar that randomly changes with each page refresh. He’s probably pissed because the administrator won’t upgrade from phpBB 2.6.2 to beta 2.6.3 version h. And don’t ask the Nerd to help you with a PC or Mac problem because he’s running a modified binary Linux desktop. Then, he'll launch into a five page essay explaining that he doesn’t understand why anyone would use anything that wasn’t open source. The Nerd is smarter than you and more efficient to boot and you're jealous you don't possess his l33t skillz.

Flunky
The Flunky is the Yen to the nerd’s Yang. It’s truly amazing the Flunky was even able to get online to post in the first place. If not for the user friendly $20 per month dial-up service courtesy of AOL and a stroke of luck that his computer didn't boot up in safe mode this time, we probably wouldn't even hear from the Flunky. Sure, he could pay the same price for DSL, but Internet Explorer is a little tricky and doesn't have those cool, intrusive advertisements.

In contrast to the Nerd, the Flunky’s posts are riddled with poorly formed tags resulting in text such as:

[quote]Who else here likes to eat cat poo poo [ /quote] That’s [7]gross]/u]!!! lol.

To the Flunky, the preview button is just a portal to spam or viruses perhaps. Those conveniently placed JavaScript tag form buttons are nothing more than hieroglyphics.

Harry Carry
It's hit the fan and this guy just can't take it anymore. Harry Carry proceeds to lash out against anyone and everyone with foul language and threats of physical violence. You know he means business, too because he hasn't spared any exclamation point or bold text which is clearly visible in size 72 font. He's burning bridges like it's going out of style. If you met Harry Carry in real life, you'd never know he was a raging rageoholic - heck, he probably runs an orphanage with lots of puppies. But we're on the Internet and we can do or say anything we want without consequences - it's the place where dreams come true.

Joe Q. Transcript
I feel bad for Joe Q. Transcript. He is always misunderstood. He just posted a two page persuasive piece explaining why communism is a good idea on paper, but when you argue against it, he responds "I never said I liked communism - show me one quote where I said I thought communism was a good idea!!!". Nothing ever sticks to Joe Q. Transcript - technically, he always has an out or a loophole to save him. He's an enigma - saying a lot without really saying anything.

The Spoiler
You just came across a fresh and funny video and you can't wait to share it with your online friends. You're so excited and post the link for everyone to enjoy. Watch out for the Spoiler because he is ready to pee on your cupcake. The Spoiler saw that video three months ago - "That is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo OLD!!!". The more o's means more old. You thought you were a trend setter, but it turns out your news is outdated and stale. Worse yet, the Spoiler posted the same link on the same forum weeks ago and he's made sure to include a link to that post as a receipt of proof in large, underlined, red font. Stay in the kiddy pool, skipper - you're messin' with the Spoiler.

Sandbag Sal
Sal has no substance, no opinions of his own, and apparently not a very fulfilling life. He has 10,000 posts that are mostly one word responses like "w0rd" or 90's dialect such as "you go girl". You get the feeling he's just trying to climb the rank leader board - he's been stuck at "Veteran" for a few weeks and is ready for the prestige and responsibility of "Expert".

The Terrorist
Your thread about curing cancer starts making progress and then a Terrorist comes along and hijacks it to talk about flowers. You hope everyone will just ignore him and stay on topic but no such luck. He's got a lot takers and now your cancer thread has turned into one that explores why chrysanthemums have better foliage in the fall than roses. You vow to get the discussion back on track, but before you know it, you start arguing that roses actually have the better foliage. The Terrorist wins.

Emoticon Elliot
Elliot has a tough time communicating online without visual cues. The solution? Emoticons - and lots of them. Elliot goes beyond the occasional smiley face or wink. With him, it's not a matter of if he'll use an emoticon, it's how many? In addition to the ones built into the message board, he's got his own private stash to stand out even more. You get the feeling he's the kind of guy who likes to do a lot of high-fiving and hugging. He probably needs therapy.

Traveling Salesman
The Traveling Salesman only starts or posts to threads that benefit him. If you're a member of a music forum, do a search for Traveling Salesman's posts and they are probably all about when his band's next show is and that you should come because "it's going to be the best show ever". Don't expect Traveling Salesman to come to your band's show because he only reads and comments on his threads. He's in promotion mode 24/7 365 days of the year because, as he puts it - "you have to be to survive in this business". In the race for success, the Traveling Salesman doesn't want a slice - he wants the whole pie.

Norm
Just like with the popular show Cheers, every board probably has a Norm. This person enjoys the message board just a little too much. Who needs real life when you can just talk about it? Armed with a number of posts twice as high as the next highest poster, Norm spends many hours refreshing for new posts while diligently plotting his next one. Looking for a new drinking game idea? Pick a thread and if you find one where Norm resisted the urge post something in it, take a drink.

Dic
You'd better know your stuff if you ever take on the Dic. He loves to argue with people and his finishing move for repartee is the English dictionary.

rep·ar·tee ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rpr-t, -t, -är-)
n. 
A swift, witty reply. 
Conversation marked by the exchange of witty retorts. See Synonyms at wit1.

[French repartie, from feminine past participle of repartir, to retort, from Old French, to retort, to depart again : re-, re- + partir, to depart (from Latin partre, to divide, from pars, part-, part. See per-2 in Indo-European Roots).]

If you dare use a word in the wrong context or more importantly, against Dic, he will unleash the power of citing sources against you. This allows him to be smart and condescending at the same time. He likes to take on sensitive topics like law, politics, or religion. You'd swear he was a working attorney, although he has a surprisingly tough time distinguishing when to use "your" versus "you're", "their" versus "they're", or pretty much anything involving an apostrophe. 

Janitor
The Janitor is that forum administrator that you know has no real power in life and this is his big chance to wield his authority with a mighty fist. The Janitor routinely moves threads to the right forum, locks threads, and bans users. On an occasion, he’ll appeal to the common peasant forum members for their opinion of whether to ban a member or not, but chances are he’s already sentenced the offender and it’s just a matter of when he’ll pound the gavel. He’d do much more if he could, but realistically, it’s just a message board and that’s the limit to how much power he can abuse.